Martha Stewart Wants To Be Me

 …even though she doesn’t even know me.

Last week the theme of one of her shows was “Happy Hour.”  I anxiously clicked it from the DVR list, poised with a pen to copy down some of her fantastic cocktail recipes. But when the show started, I learned it wasn’t about cocktails at all.  It was about little things to do or look for every day that can make you HAPPY. What a stellar idea!  I think she’s following The Optimistic Schmuck anonymously.

Here’s a summary of some of “her” ideas:

Pictures of babies WITH dogs can make you downright blissful

• Look at pictures of babies. (check)
• Own a dog. (check) 
• Exercise. (check) 
• Eat salmon. (check)Mmmm… My Dad’s secret to awesome salmon. Grill it with a glaze of
  3Tb Brown Sugar
  2Tb Soy Sauce
  1 Tb Dijon
  Then serve with a sauce of
  1 Tb Glaze from above
  1tsp white vinegar

• Make your bed every day. (check)  I am a bedmaker.  My husband is not. For 10 years now I’ve been pleading with him since he is usually the last one out of bed.  Making the bed makes the room look neat. It declutters my head. Martha adds that you feel happy when one chore is checked off your list as soon as you get out of bed.  It makes me happy to make lists and check them off. (check)

Bonus:  Here is a recipe for a great Martha cocktail that makes my friends and me very, very happy...The Winter Solstice.

Mother Nature Gave us a Taste of Spring!

Julia's Hanging Out

Blustery but warm, my brother Scott and I dressed the kids in jackets and boots and took them to the playground last week. The snow was almost completely melted and it was plenty muddy. Who cares, it was 56 degrees and we were on swings and slides. 

The Amazing Race: Unfinished Business

The best show on TV is having a “reunion” of sorts. Not sure who I’m rooting for yet.  I will not let my disgust of country music dissuade me from The Cowboys- they should have won back in Season 16.  But I love the Globetrotters too.

Thank God they didn’t ask Rob and Amber- I would boycott.   I miss Jonathon and Victoria from Season 6.  They made my marriage look like paradise. 

And where are Brian and Greg, “The Brothers” from Season 7?  Brian is probably busy doing more hilarious Miller Light Commercials.

 

The Wine & Gold and “The Streak”

The fire inside. Definitely inside.

1. Wine: The best thing about sub zero temperatures is that you can warm up with red wine. While the weather begs for robust California Cabs and hearty South American Malbecs, I light my fire with Spanish reds such as Garnacha de Fuego. And lots of it this NBA Season.

According to the label, these Old Vine gems grow in crappy gravel where it never rains and no one wants to live.  Lovingly harvested and fermented, it’s spicy and friendly and scored an 87 on the Parker scale. At only $8.99 a bottle, it’s the perfect pair with an Optimistic Schmuck.

2.Gold: My friend Tracy invited me to a “Gold & Silver” party at her house this week. I've  always been a skeptic about these types of things. If it seems too good to be true, it must be illegal. But what the hell. "It can't hurt"

The husband and I went through the vault and found a few things we could part with.  Some were gifts from him to me while we were courting. We are romantic and sentimental, but also wildly passionate about cash.

Judge Judy, the no-nonsense appraiser, inspected my bounty at the kitchen table.  She called me “honey” and threw a couple of fake earrings back as I blushed.  I was nervous, but there was no turning back. 

After a few minutes of separating, weighing, and calculating, she pulled out her money bag and began pulling out bills. I held my breath.

Suddenly she turned into Monte Hall.  “Hold out your hand,” she said smiling as she counted out four one hundred dollar bills. Jackpot! What a (gold) rush!

Everyone Loves Jared

3. The Streak: Our #1 ranked Ohio State Buckeyes are 24-0! These guys have more moves than U-Haul. Jared Sullinger is unbelievable. I’m not sure how many weeks there has been a Freshman of the Week award, but the dude’s won 11 of them.  Here’s the schedule, set your TiVo.

The Storm of the Century and Other Good Things

1. Happy Groundhog Day!  C’mon Punxsatawney Phil. Be a man!  Don’t be scared of your own shadow! Or high winds, frozen snow, and subzero temperatures!  

I'm in the Mood

2. The Odd Couple.. Martha Stewart and Robert Plant, two of my idols from opposite sides of the entertainment spectrum, posing backstage at the Letterman taping.   I wonder if Martha will use her fabulous Citrus Press to demonstrate how to squeeze his lemon ‘til the juice runs down his leg. 

3. Local media is reporting that (frozen?) groundbreaking for the highly anticipated Greater Cleveland Aquarium begins today.  It will be where the Powerhouse on the West Bank currently stands. It will showcase a SeaTube that will “allow visitors to walk underneath the marine environment.”  I hope it extends to the Cuyahoga River.  I would pay extra to see all the crap that fell in after the cops busted up Nautica gigs. And even more for a super-secret backstage entrance.

 Bonus:  Our one-year-old Julia is learning how to talk.  Every day our “parrot” says new words- “dog”, “sock”, “duck”. Today, as we watched the dog in the backyard, she said “poop.” Freaking cute.